Get Rid Of Anger and Stress Once and For All

Get Rid Of Anger and Stress Once and For All

Just imagine what life would be like if we could get rid of anger and stress for good.get rid of anger

Life is a journey, and your life is going to be what you make of it. It can be boring, just getting along from one day to the next, or it can be stressful, always putting out fires.

But it can also be a joyful journey, one where you can be excited about every new day. It is all about what you make of it.

But how do we get rid of anger and stress?

How Can We Enjoy Life in a World of Violence?

We are all bombarded with information from the physical world around us, and if you don’t take control of yourself and your emotions, this can become quite overwhelming. The sad part is that the majority of information that comes our way on a daily basis is intimidating, overwhelming and downright depressing news.

How often do you hear people say “I hate reading the newspaper, all you see is bad news. Why can’t we see some good news for a change”? Yet, the irony is that very few people are actually interested in “good news”.

I recently watched a television program where some top journalists and news photographers got interviewed. Some of these journalists discussed how they would go into Africa to cover the top news events, but as they would enter countries where there is peace and where people are generally easy going, they would be quick to leave those areas, looking for countries where violence is at the order of the day. They would be looking for countries at war and where there is bloodshed on a daily basis. In peaceful areas, there is just no sensation and nobody would read about it.

Everybody is talking about the bad state of world affairs and about violence being at the order of the day. “When you open the news paper, all you see is violence” you say. Yes that’s true. That is all we read about, but it is because it sells news papers. It is about creating sensation, because that is what people want…..sensation.

Yet, there is good news out there too. We just don’t really hear about it. So where do you live?

Create Your World.

Are you living in fear because of all the bad news? Then let me ask you this question. When is the last time when you had to scan your garden before dashing for the front gate without getting shot at? How many millions of people (you, your friends and family included) are happily and safely commuting on a daily basis, whether by air travel or by car, and arriving at their destinations without giving a second thought about being involved in an accident.

Are you taking pressure at work or in your business because you have to perform?

We all live in two “worlds”. We all live in our own “inner world”, and we live in the physical world.

The physical world is obviously the world around you. This is where everything physically takes place.

Living in your own “inner world”, is referring to how you experience life. It is your way of thinking and the way you respond to what happens in the world around you.

I was thinking about this as I recently watched a rugby match. I love following the Super Rugby series. This particular game was a typical derby between South African teams and it caught my attention.

It was the game between the Stormers and the Cheetahs. The Stormers are in a much better position on the overall log for the series. The Cheetahs on the other hand, had a bad season thus far. Thus, the Stormers had much to lose, while the Cheetahs had nothing to lose going into this game.

The Cheetahs clearly went in and played their hearts out, just enjoying the game. What was the result for doing that? They came out victoriously.

I have often found the same principle in my own life. When I put pressure on myself or even allow external circumstances to add pressure, it’s almost as if I’m working against myself. Everything that can go wrong will go wrong.

Yet, when I relax and just get down to business and I do what I know needs to be done, I find ways to make it enjoyable. Not only do I get it done better, but I normally end up completing the task faster too.

You Choose the World You Are Going To Live In

Stress is no stranger in the world that we are living in today. Stress often leads to anger as well. It gets disturbing when we start looking at various statistics of stress and anger. How would you like to see over 2 million reasons why Americans need anger management? Is that exciting enough for you?

Believe it or not, there is some good news too. You can choose not to fall victim to stress and anger. Nobody said it’s going to be easy. But if you can determine the source of your stress and anger, the next step will be to make a quality decision, and you can overcome these conditions.

Even though anger is a huge problem in society today, we (often unknowingly) keep on promoting it. Every sports star must be “aggressive” in his approach when participating. Successful business people are known for being “aggressive” in their business, and they often develop quite intimidating personalities too. It is often the more aggressive people who take the lead in many situations by being intimidating. Many people try to make their stamp of authority today by being aggressive. It is as if we think that the more aggressive we are, the stronger we are. Yet, nothing can be further from the truth.

Real strong and firm leaders are often the calmer and even-tempered type of person. These are people who just demand respect seemingly without even trying.

With all this competition amongst people, and the need for being the strongest, it is of little wonder that many people don’t realize the origin of stress and anger.

Anger is based in fear. For many people it might be hard to come to grips with this idea, but anger is normally in response to being threatened. Whenever a person feels threatened to be harmed, either physically, emotionally, financially or in any other way, it is a spontaneous reaction to respond with anger. It is an act of survival.

The highly competitive and fast-paced lifestyle which is at the order of the day today is a contributing factor to this problem. Just think about this for a moment. How many times do you see people (it might even be you) who totally get beyond themselves when someone cuts in front of him on the freeway? Yes, it’s rude. But is it worth having a heart attack over? That person doesn’t even know that you are walking around with a headache for the rest of the day, while he just carries on with life like normal. We are so fast to get angry, which means that we actually feel threatened by the smallest of incidents.

Take control of your own life by taking control of your own thoughts. Just one piece of advice, do not decide “not to get angry” for the day. For some reason, when you decide not to get angry, as soon as you get out of bed in the morning, you hit your toe against the coffee table….and that’s normally the end of it…lol.

Learn to love yourself for whom and what you are. Decide to be calm and relaxed no matter what. Get settled and confident in your own identity. Realize that you are in control. When you develop confidence in your own identity, you would not feel threatened as quickly, and thus you would have much more control over your temper and your stress levels.

Take stock of your life. Prepare yourself for change. Find your passion. What makes you excited about life?

Enjoy the JourneyCanoeing on Sázava river near Prague

Believe me, as you start making peace with yourself, and you calm down and become more even-tempered, you start drawing more people closer to you as well. It is just way more fun to be around a calm and relaxed person, than to be with an aggressive intimidating person.

So what is your world like where you live in? What do you do to make the world a better place? How do you fight stress and anger? They are very real enemies, and I would love to hear from you.

12 Responses to Get Rid Of Anger and Stress Once and For All

  1. Hi Jaco,

    You are right about all that you wrote in this wonderful and much needed post 🙂

    That is exactly the reaction, especially when one picks up the newspapers or watches the news channels! For a change, the local newspapers our end have taken an initiative now to keep one day as a day for sharing only positive news, and it does feel so good to read the goodness being done all over, instead of the bad or negativity shared.

    Absolutely! When we are pressured, we go all wrong, though we do need a little ‘good’ pressure while working, or else we tend to procrastinate and not get it done! But it shouldn’t affect us internally and should be done in a easy way – just a little work pressure to keep the work going is what I meant.

    Stress is part of ALL our lives I think, even kid’s nowadays are stressed, if we talk about it. But there are different kinds of stresses, as I’d mentioned in the many posts about stress written on my blog (if you read them)- the good stress one needs to get work done, while the bad one will always lead to anger and several health issues.

    For me, stress does take over sometime when everything becomes overwhelming. But I take out my time for meditating and that helps a great deal, beside my morning walks, and listening to music – just being in nature – in the moment. Those are moments of bliss, and give me enough to handle the day ahead 🙂

    Apt line – Take control of your own life by taking control of your own thoughts – something we all need to do! Anger and stress leads to nothing, and you just lose a lot of yourself instead. You need to work and find your way around by taking it easy and playing it calm – things always turn out better this ways 🙂

    Thanks for sharing this with us. Have a nice week ahead 🙂

    • Hi Harleena,

      Thank you for adding so much value with your comment and sharing with us how you handle stress in life. I really do appreciate it.

      Yes, I do agree with you, we need that little bit of ‘good’ pressure to get the job done, or to perform at our best levels. I like to call it ‘healthy competition’. What I mean by that is in an example of sports, when losing a match, congratulate the winner and take what you have learned from the match to better yourself and return next time with a better chance of victory. In a business sense it would be to improve my level of service, or my product, in order to create a healthy business enviroment.

      We can’t always win everytime, and sadly, what we mostly encounter today when people don’t win, is that they start ‘bad-mouthing’ each other, become rude and would do just about anything (often even causing harm to the other party), just for the sake of winning. This form of competitiveness, is encouraging jealousy, envy, hate and anger, and nobody gains anything from it.

      Thank you once again for your input. You are a great role-model to society.

      Enjoy your day.

  2. Hello Jaco,

    Excellent write up!

    Wow, seriously … Newspaper and new channels… They are too good to destroy the countries, the peace, the relaxation of minds, the happiness and every single thing that can make the world a better living place.

    Newspapers and channels are real thing to bring in the stress. As I live in such a country where peace is hard to find, such newspapers and channels do their best to destroy the peace further by making up spicy headlines and coverages – You know that not everything or an even would be too extreme but these news guys make that more-extreme than average to create a hype which results into developing stress which are their selling points.

    And living in such world and for my own self, I have stopped reading the newspapers and TV – They used to destroy my mood right in the morning.

    I agree that everyone agrees news are intimidating but yet the still reads it. Commuting to the office in mornings while having the newspaper in hands and reading, they do fill up their minds with stress right in the morning. So, how they can perform well when their minds are too distracted to focus on the work-related issues?

    I so doubt news is causing us some severe health issues and as in my country, nearly everyone who regularly watches news they are becoming crazy day by day. Because when you talk about them in regards of the news, they own several opinions about the same news which keep on changing everyday.

    And petty issues in home, they do result into anger and heated exchanges of words. I so much try to avoid this thing. When in such state of anger, I use to just leave the scene and sit alone for quite awhile to cool me down OR get busy into work. With it I start to forget about what happened awhile ago much quickly than sitting alone.

    I so wish that everyone could avoid being hit with stress and anger. Be happy and don’t put much attention on the tongues of others.

    Once again, thank you for this post!

    ~ Adeel Sami

    • Hi Adeel,

      Thank you for your valuable input.

      It is so true what you say about the news media adding hype to events which are bad enough as it is already. And as you say, everybody is complaining about the ‘bad news’, yet that is what sells news papers.

      Thank you for sharing with us how you deal with conflict and situations of anger in the house. I would like to encourage everybody to follow your example by rather leaving the scene and spend some time alone. Often when we think back later what the argument was all about, we can even laugh about it. But if you didn’t walk away in the first place, things can sometimes really get out of hand.

      In my opinion, it takes more of a man – a man whom I can respect – to walk away from such arguments, than to stay and try to prove something.

      Thank you Adeel.

      Enjoy your day.

  3. Wonderful post, Jaco
    Your starting statement raises many deep questions. Why are we stressing too much on anger? Don’t we find any useful in peace? Where are we heading towards in this chaotic conditions? Why are we not taking a step forward to change the whole set up.
    The story of media channels is very sad and shocking. Today, the newspapers and news channels are loaded with all the negative news. But, we are the culprit in this act also. We are creating a demand for these type of spicy talks. If there will be no demand, we can’t expect a supply also.
    Thanks for coming up with a lovely post.

    • Hi Yattin,

      Thank you for your comment. Very good questions that you are asking. What exactly are we stressing about in such anger? Often we just need to ask ourselves ‘what is the worst that can happen?’ in any given situation, and we would realize that there really isn’t that much reason to get so upset about. Most of the time, what we fear most, never even happen.

      It is such a good point that you make in closing your comment. We need to take the blame (and responsibility) for our own contribution to all the spicy talks. We create the demand, and then we complain about there being a supply.

      Thank you Yatin.

      Enjoy your day.

  4. Hi Jaco,

    Good topic for discussion! 🙂

    I agree with you. It would be great if we could get rid of the anger and stress of ourselves. I can not imagine it, but I’m sure life will be more interesting and peaceful. 🙂

    When I get angry at something or someone, I usually think about what impact that would occur if I vent my anger. I know that nothing good will happen if I get angry every time I disturbed. I just get angry when it is needed. 😉

    Thanks for sharing this, Jaco.
    Awesome and wonderful post, indeed!

    Have a great week ahead!

    ~Nanda

    • Hi Nanda,

      Thank you for your comment and welcome to my blog.

      That is a very good character-trait that you show by thinking about what impact it would have if you vent your anger. So many people claim to ‘have lost it’. But I believe it is all about self-control, and we all have the ability to make choices. It is when ego and pride get involved, when it becomes difficult to practice self-control.

      Thank you Nanda, I hope to see you around more often.

      Enjoy your day.

      Jaco.

  5. Hey Jaco,

    What I enjoyed about this post is you were not sending out a message that eliminating anger is possible. Its an emotion we feel. And your word of caution that anger is not easy to get into check is wonderful.

    I have been on a twenty year anger management lesson. Tried many tricks and tips. That counting to ten does nothing. I count to ten real fast. When I went to a meditation retreat one of the topics was on anger and how it can be a seen as a gift. When people hand us a reason to be angry we push it away and decline this gift. For me this has been a powerful way of seeing things.

    Loved your road rage example. Someone cuts us off leaving us fuming for hours. We don’t even know them and have allowed them to impacted us. Why would we do this to ourselves? However I can see it from your point of view being a little older. However it certainly was worth all my anger as a young person. Boy did I go in for all the drama.

    Now I see anger as a lot of work. I would rather use my energy productively. Thanks for the reminder.

    Rachel

    • Hi Rachel,

      Oops, for some reason I didn’t get a notification of your comment. Fortunately I picked up on your comment in my back-office and realized that I haven’t seen this yet. Apologies for the late response.

      Thanks for sharing your thoughts with us. I am really glad to hear that you have enjoyed this post.

      Wow! A twenty year anger management lesson. You can certainly speak from experience. I love your example of seeing it as gift that you can decline when someone gives you a reason to be angry. That truely is powerful, putting you in control to make a very deliberate choice whether you want to accept it or not.

      Yes, you have a good way of putting it; as we grow older we start seeing anger for what it is…’a lot of work’. Very true.

      Thanks again for your input, Rachel.

      Have a great day,

      Jaco.

    • Hello Abdul,

      Thank you for visiting my site and for giving your input.

      I am glad that you enjoyed the post.

      Have a great day,

      Jaco.

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