How to Build Healthy Relationships and Be Appreciated

How to Build Healthy Relationships and Be Appreciated

Do you have healthy relationships with people who are close to you? Do you feel appreciated by your loved ones? Are you known for having healthy relationships, for being a caring person of integrity?

We all feel the need for belonging. We need to feel loved and appreciated.

We are currently in a season where the feeling of belonging is taken for granted by many and painfully missed by others. In less than a month, it will be Christmas.

This is a season where everybody wants to love and be loved. It is a season of joy. And that’s wonderful. But my question is this; why do we limit showing our love for other people to seasons?

I’m not just talking about showing it while celebrating a season or exchanging gifts on the day (and then to continue the rat race the next day). I’m talking about communication. I’m talking about showing that we care, all the time.


In the beginning of the year – February – we have Valentine’s Day. We all spoil our loved ones and bless them with special gifts.

In April we have Easter and it is all fun and games and we let the children hunt for Easter eggs.

Moving towards the end of the year, we have Thanksgiving and we celebrate Christmas.

This is all beautiful and I also enjoy and celebrate these times with my family. But when I look around me, it’s not that I just want to be negative, but I can’t help to think about the following:

  • On Valentine’s Day, you spoiled your loved one and made him/her feel special. And the day after Valentine’s Day? Did he/she still feel so special or was there no time to pay attention to one another?
  • Over Easter Weekend we had fun with the kids. And the week after Easter? Did the children still look forward to the time when Mom and Dad get home from work? Or did they rather keep their distance because maybe you had a rough day at work?
  • Currently, people are celebrating Thanksgiving and all over the world Christmas will be celebrated. It is a season of joy, love and caring. And then in January? What about February? Oh yes…. then it’s Valentine’s Day again… But March, April and through to November and December again?

Shouldn’t we love and care for one another irrespective of what time of year it is?

There is a Time for Everything

Sure, the Bible says there is a time for everything (Ecclesiastes 3:1-8). But we have to keep it within context.

Ecclesiastes 3:8 says “…a time to love and a time to hate, a time for war and a time for peace”.

But I would like to also share what the study note says for that verse in the King James Application Bible.

It reads: “When is there a time for hating? We shouldn’t hate evil people, but we should hate what they do. We should also hate it when people are mistreated, when children are starving, and when God is being dishonored. In addition we must hate sin in our lives, because this is God’s attitude”.

The Time to Love one Another and Show Appreciation is Always Now

There is nothing wrong with celebrating these special times. And it’s great to make it really special for those who are special to us.

But our children should be looking forward to us coming home every day. Our spouses should feel special and loved whenever theyhealthy relationships are around us – every day.

Yes, we all have those days where things just get out of control. But there is no need for our families to pay the price for it when we get home.

We should develop an environment of mutual respect where we can give each other some breathing space and support. We should trust each other enough to get some time to just relax, and then talk about whatever happened during the day – good or bad.

Our children should always feel free to approach us with their problems. They shouldn’t first have to try to establish what mood we’re in to determine whether it is safe to approach us or not.

If we can develop such relationships within our homes and maintain it throughout the year, I am convinced we’ll have less need for organizations against woman and child abuse.

The time to care is always NOW. Click To Tweet

Let’s celebrate for the Right Reason’s

This Christmas, let’s start by putting Christ back into Christmas. Let’s celebrate it for the right reasons and extend the peace, love and joy way beyond December.

Then, when February comes, we can really make that special person in our lives feel extra special by celebrating it.

Let’s make it a habit to treat others well and not limit it to certain occasions or seasons.

Make it a habit to treat others well. Click To Tweet

Would You Like to Feel Appreciated?

We all want to feel appreciated. It is something every human being longs for.

But how can you make someone appreciate you? The point is; you can’t make anybody appreciate you. You can’t make anybody respect you either. But you can earn appreciation and respect.

And by saying that you can earn respect from someone, doesn’t mean you have to start kissing up to anybody. It doesn’t mean that you have to become a walk-over or a people-pleaser.

But you can start by being a friend. Start with the people closest to you. Start with your spouse and your children. Start paying attention to what they do. Take note of their achievements. Compliment them and encourage them. Just show them that you care and that they are important to you. It all starts with communication. And not text messages….face to face verbal communication.

Give it some time, and you will see how it starts coming back to you.

After 32 years of married life, I can tell you; it works. Both our daughters are married now and they follow the same principles in their lives. When you walk into their homes today, you can feel the peace and the warmth.

When our daughters left home to get married, we didn’t lose them, our family just got bigger.

I promise you, that is something that no money can buy.

What are you doing to show people that you really care about them? Tell us about it in the comment section.

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